


I Need You To Write Me Something Beautiful

by Pearlsky



Category: Kill Your Darlings (2013)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confusion, Emotional Baggage, Internalized Homophobia, Love, Love/Hate, M/M, Makeup Sex, Passion, Pure, Romance, Trauma, word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:01:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21639253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pearlsky/pseuds/Pearlsky
Summary: Dropping every agony he is facing for the sake of his happiness. What an utter fool. Might be deceivingly living in a fairy-tale of his own creation, a dream land of his mind. Allen’s wonderland. He thought sacrificing so much would get him his ulterior motive. Fucking fruits. They disgusted him. Queers.
Relationships: Lucien Carr & Allen Ginsberg, Lucien Carr/Allen Ginsberg
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40





	I Need You To Write Me Something Beautiful

Lucien bright sparkling eyes and hooded gazes. His cool demeanor. Ice prince. The way he moved inside so deeply. But was too fucked up to own up to his feelings. Is all what attracted Allen to him, is what Allen tells him.

Allen’s warmth, his love, his care. His abundance of love and care. His warm chocolate eyes, adorable glasses. Adorable geek. So honest and earnest in all that he does. The way he hung on to Lucien’s every word, like it was an art performance. And Lucien craved it. Oh, he craved it so much. This purity. His undivided attention. Maybe at first only to satisfy his own ego. But later to posses him. For him to find nothing more captivating than him. For him to only see him. Only want him. It was all unconscious Lucien would say. If someone was to give so abundantly, they must expect to be used. It’s all Allen’s fault. He wanted to reach the stars and greatness. He saw beauty in Lucien’s words. He thought that all the worlds Lucien introduced him to did not have some sort of cost. Lucien had many Allen’s. of course, he can find another Allen tomorrow. 

Lucien was playing with him of course; he never was sincere. He never intended to keep him around. Lucien cared for nobody but himself. Allen tells him that he cares about everyone but himself, that it’s the source of his agony. What an idiot.

Dropping every agony he is facing for the sake of his happiness. What an utter fool. Might be deceivingly living in a fairytale of his own creation, a dream land of his mind. Allen’s wonderland. He thought sacrificing so much would get him his ulterior motive. Fucking fruits. They disgusted him. Queers. 

Did he think that no matter what he gave Lucien if his life itself, he would ever concede to his perverseness? 

Giving kindness and warmth so abundantly. That fucking jokester of an idiot. How funny he was without meaning to. Endlessly caring and kind. Touch so soft. Disgusting fairy. It’s like a haze. Like he drugs him. Rids him of his common sense. Gets his cock hard. His skin buzzing. Delirious pleasure. Soft face. Kind lips. Sleep. A burst of stars in his mind. like thousands of beautiful thoughts. Comfort. Ridiculous comfort. He sometimes wants to laugh. He definitely succumbed to the depths of insanity. To love someone so kind. So goddamn kind he wants to cry whenever he sees him. Beg him to take him away with him. To his own fairytale, in that beautiful mind of his, where his warmth spreads far and wide. Where the beauty of it gets Lucien to his knees. The striking beauty of him. Of Allen. To please kiss him. To please take him with him. Wherever he pleases. Just take him along. He bursts into tears all the time. Might be overwhelmed. Might be aroused. Might be lost. Wants his mouth on his nipples and his cock. To suck him till he comes. To love him till he comes. To fuck him till he comes. To kiss him till he bursts. To fuck him and love him and kiss him and love him. Kiss him till he loves him. Till he bursts to flames. Till he hopefully ceases to exist. Till he loves. Till he likes himself. Till he loves himself through him. Fuck him and kiss his neck and bloom purple and maroon roses on his pale snow skin. To fuck him and love him and kiss his temple and tell him that it’s going to be ok, and that he loves him, and that he’s going to be there for him. To hug him so tightly till he sleeps and maybe forgets about the world. To forget about the world. 

All the screaming and shouting ends in deep slumber. In warmth. Happy. Lucky. Wants to suck Allen off. Wants him to know he never intended to leave him behind. And that he loves him so much it’s more than can bear. That he loves him so much. That he’s so grateful Allen wants him. For someone so kind. And warm. And safe. To want him. To love him. 

“Write me something beautiful”

Allen never ceases to disappoint. He committed so far that he carved the words in Lucien’s veins.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Comments are welcome 💕.


End file.
